I’m a bad owner

Some of you may had know that I have 3 2 cheeky furry friends.
Yes they are Neeki the shit addict and Julius the hopeless urine sipper.
Sometimes i wonder to myself, when you are choosing your pet. it is pretty much the same as having kids and how u nurture them and bring them up.
I have many friends who share the same passion as me, have dogs , cats, birds, terrapins or tortoise? dunno lah… look the same but very small in size. I’m pretty sure i’m the luckiest of them all.
No matter how hard I threaten to kill Neeki, she just can’t stop savouring eating her shit! and i somemore caught her during the scene of crime!
And Julius can’t stop drinking his and Neeki’s urine as well. Did I mention they are clever too? They will try to wait for the moment… when i’m not around and quickly DIY their appetizers so that I will not be around shouting at them like some mad woman.

You see so i have the perfect cleaning tools already. I mean my dogs are natural environmentalist! This eat shit/pee eat thing is a chain cycle and they pretty much tidy up their W.C area without much help from us.  Although I wished it was done this way instead.
(never will happen…Denise…resign to fate and accept it.)

Lucky right? Compared to those owners whose dogs are obedient and stay by their heels as they walked and oh! good toilet manners…I think I might already have the world “best dogs already”.



My 3rd furry whom I used to call her 龙珠 had passed on and promoted to heaven’s Fame of Hall (Top 40 Artistic Dogs) and there’s probably more things for her to chew and she now have the whole universe to paint shit with. Could milky way be one of her work too?
No other dogs is as skillful as her, she is a all natural artist. Her tools for her passion of art are nothing more than just her paws and her shit. No floor tiles and walls including myself was spared when her artistic soul decided to throw a couple of Van Gogh’s. Please take note, in her drawings, there is only brown and occasionally some black depending on her diets.


When i first got her, she was a stray i found below my house. She was tiny,fragile…dirty…and worse still, the amount of fleas she had on her body was horrifying. Had a tough time convincing my parents to accept her as I already had Neeki back then and furthermore the idea of 龙珠 will probably infest the house with fleas just simply turn my parents off. Nonetheless, rebellious me wouldn’t take no for a answer. I locked her up and slept with her in my room. This was what happened the next day when i decided to do some fleas-spring-cleaning on her.


Yucks!!!!! Btw, this is not Longzhu… this was an example picture.
But still Its a damned Muddafiakinggroesome pic!!@!$%!@%!@^!
of cause eventually i managed to clear her off all the ticks and fleas and she became part of our family.



I shall not go into the details on her whereabouts or how she passed on…etc etc…. but she will always be my best furry ever.


So much for the introduction that i didnt realized it is almost 1.20am now.
I shall continue to the part about me being a bad owner tomorrow……
below are some “trailers” & “Teasers” on the next blog.






What had i done? Am i the next serial saddist around the next block?
HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP…….

Excuse me Auntie, here is for early 20+

I’m not going to deny the instant regret feelings I had when I stepped into

 

Not to mention that I actually thought butter factory was still at riverside lor! Wasted yet another taxi fare from riverside to One Fullerton!

That was clown act no 1.

Clown act no 2 followed quickly thereafter.

After I alighted at One Fullerton, I was expecting to see signboards that will lead me to butter factory, or at least some POSTERS to guide me the way lah!

To be more specific, saw that pathetic red stick man? That was where I alighted. (Yeah lah approximately… not that I alighted on the grass patch from the taxi duhZ?)

I looked around hoping to see some signboard, arrows or something and to my horror… NOTHING!

Hiding my anxiety (for being like a sua ku), I looked around frantically searching for  “WHERE IS THE GOD DAMNED BUTTER FACTORY?!?!”

Eventually decided to give up since there were 2 cute guys infront of me, I mean… why not just ask??

Then…….

Forward to 15 mins later. (My bf reads this blog too)

So...how far was I from butter factory?

Not even fucking 5000cm AWAY Can!

Super Malu…… I am standing around the white stick man, butter is at the red circle area.

Its as good as telling everyone, i’m sua ku!

 

Without wasting too much time… when I am already 2 hrs late. yeah late cannot meh?

I zoomed past the ticketing booth, bouncer and I was greeted by several doorways leading to different areas.

WHERE the fuck is FASHIONBAR???  (Minors reading my blog. NC16)

 

Finally I found it! Fashion bar!@!@!

No mean feat for me to reach there all by myself u know …! Took me more than 2 hrs to reach butter factory from bukit batok lor can??

Task not completed yet at this point, yes I was inside the fashion bar no doubt… but WHERE THE HELL WERE THEY SEATED?

And I really hate to look for them trying to squeeze around the crowd. Because the crowd was fucking YOUNG and I felt fiaking out of place? (Below relates approx 70% of actual feeling for the night)

Somemore not to mention the songs they were playing was completely ALIEN to my ears. And I was informed later that Fashion bar is actually a retro theme. “wtf??”  How was it possible when none of the songs even came close to the word R.E.T.R.O?

At least I knew I’m not alone when I started to grumble…couldn’t fit in and bla bla bla… the etc shit. Well the rest of the girls felt the same way too except for Esther who could dance at any song (Literally)

Screw that place and I will never step in there anymore cause it equates to National Library.

Putting this horrible place aside (worse still, no visual eye candies somemore) , I quickly went over to the grp of ferocious pussies to see what they were up to!

Disclaimer - “I’m innocent!”

Hope we managed to fulfill her desire and fantasies.

Bleah… no me…

I think the serum fluid looked very real… especially when I accidentally dripped 1 drop on somebody’s leg and she goes “
WAPIANG!!! DON’T Anyhow drip your xiao leh!”  (=_=’’)

Esther say I chio.. so this pic I put bigger… wAHAHAHAH (Later I will put the most chio pic the biggest)

Excellent! Fantasies do come true! LoL

The No 1 AWARD Winning Photography of 2010 goes to Esther Low!!! (Because only you uploaded to facebook)

 

 

 No 1 Award Winning Dress to Kill Goes to Esther Low!!!

 

Even those the music was horrible, place was terrible but who need all these when we have

GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN!

 

Too bad lancing lancing time was short… only 30 mins…. Somemore coupled with a few spoilers on platform and dance floor…(pui)

It was definitely a great time hanging out!

Believed next on list is

Wendy

Juliana

Me………..

On the next Hen’s party season!

 

J

War is Starting in 9 more hrs.

Getting Married – 2^nd Phase

I’m truly gratified that women these days can choose between

• Living together with Mother In Law


• Pang Seh their Mother In Law

I know pang seh doesn’t seem quite right but trust me. It’s the most appropriate term to use here. I did a lookup of replacement words and ta dah!



None of the proposed word from MS even sounded humanely lor!

So it figures why USA Kids are more independent… it’s the English they are coping with..… LOL

So and yes..with the blessings of my mother in law, she encouraged has been encouraging us to get a flat on our own and when the time is ripe, she will move in with us. Sounds like a good deal to me when it actually helps by giving us ample time to get accustom to each other on the do’s and don’ts

BTW, I’m not a greedy person, I only need 1 rule.

Do not ask or request me to do anything for a 2^nd time if I had rejected the 1^st time politely.

Simple?

Scully…my future mother in law's 1 and only rule is

Do whatever I say or ask!

*I'm fucked.*

Hahahaha……  *God…..don’t plray plray…don’t give this joke to me hor….*

Mother in law I love u! (just in case she’s reading this now…..)

So… two words no say! (二话不说！) we started the madness of hunting down houses….and ....paying infinite times of $10 to participate in HDB’s BTO but always ONLY ended up with nothing but a bag of disappointments… Well my bro got the punggol waterway… ..I can’t deny my Brother has been the world luckiest man ever. God favors him! (Looking at my bro with envy green eyes……. (¬_¬) shit u.....)

But still! 长天不服有情人！There is a new launch EC Site at Compassvale bow.

The Esparina…....maciam sounds like the drug, the Aspirin!



Don’t bother or even try to dissuade me by saying so far…so ulu…so ex…good meh..?.... unless you are MM LEE and I will probably entertain you a little…otherwise a simple congratulations will be enough or KOPI NEXT TIME! And Welcome to PUNGGOL! Etc etc …. wahahah

And Yes!! I’m Fighting with 1600+ applicants!!! Screw em!

Wish me luck for tomorrow balloting results!

PS: LETS JAM UP THE 4square! Unlock Super Swarm Campaign starts now!

Testing to see if this works.

I promise to blog by this week!  i Will not let 99999 followers down!

Sorry to all the ah nehs in singapore

Media will continue to screw your mind.

“Boy ah! Don’t play and play wait ah neh will come beat you”

“Eat your food! If not later mommy will ask ah neh to beat you”

“BE good Hah!! Don’t Noti Noti ah! AH NEH IS COMING! (The evil version of santa clause is coming to town you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not be notti, i'm telling u why... ah neh ah neh is coming to town...)

Sounds familiar? These are often the words from the older generation to make their kids (Yes U and Me, the 80's breed) behave during my era. In 1980s’ settings, Ah neh (aka Indians) have powerful influence on one’s kid dietary system. Why so…

Eg1

Boy : mommy I duwan to eat, I want to go downstairs pak gor li , catch spider with ah gaw our neighbor….

Mommy : cannot huh! You don’t eat later the ah neh will be angry and will beat you

Boy : I eat I eat! I don’t want to play anymore.. no ah neh pls!

Eg2

Boy very picky about his food.. this don’t want to eat, that don’t want to eat…

Scenario – Macdonald.

Boy : mom, I don’t want these..i want Kentucky friend fried chicken..(back then Mac was not so popular yet.)

Mom: Cannot! Ah Gaw.. u must eat ok…look at you..so thin..cannot be fussy about food ok.

Probably ah gaw was already this size ->

ah gaw:I don’t care! And I am not going to fucking care!

Mom: nevermind… you see that ah neh over there? (poor Indian who happen to be working there as the sweeper or cashier and trying to earn a decent keep to feed his family of 6 mouthfuls, and we still dare say INDIANS HAVE NO MORAL CONSCIOUS! These days some Chinese I know don’t even bother much about their parents….) ah neh is looking at you already…you better behave wait ah neh 抓你拿去卖 in English = Catch you bring to sell

Ah gaw : I don’t believe u!

Mommy : you see..black black one.. and teeth so white… will bring you to the ah neh lalaland and make you their slave!

Ah gaw: Gasping in disbelief…

Probably at this moment, the ah neh noticed the notion and out of courtesy , gave his friendly Darlie white teeth to ah gaw..



Ah gaw:  I want to go home....

Poor ah neh…

I’m glad that this absurd folklore tale  was busted long long time ago… I sure hope that one day, people in india will educate their kids the same way we used to instill in the Chinese kids.

India Mom : Gek Ling Kia!, don’t play! Wait the Chinese pig will catch you and bring to china to sell you for Low fat dark grilled meat!

Gek Ling Kia: Its ok Mommy! I will make sure they will never pay back the Gek Ling Siao (debts) ……...

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I got nothing against Indians really. My first few good friends in primary school were Indians. and I even fell in love with an Indian boy during my sec school day. He was witty..he was smart..he was fun to be with, he was literally EVERYTHING ! And the myth about Indian smells? That’s bullshit…

The Chinese don’t smell? FYI, Chinese are the biggest population on earth that uses deodorant…and perfumes.

So who is smelly now?

Now why do I say Media will continue to fuck screw your mind? Bollywood Is good… they instill fear to the people in the most non suspicious way…. How?

in their movies!

Very often the male actors (almost all) have this highly incredible , insane, immeasurable strength and KUNG FU to wipe out the villains. (usually in just 1 punch will eliminate 1 enemy)

For the Chinese movies, you need to be someone special… maybe like GEN X cop.. or GEN Y cop… or sun wu kong etc etc to have this incredibly powerful god bestowed strength to be able to wack someone upside down.

But for Indian show?

A fucking light punch from the male lead can send the villain up high into the sky. (Take note, male actor role in the show is just a normal being with no supernatural power or prior military training. Was probably just a kampong boy…or a roti prata man…)

The sound effects in Indian show , **sfZ!! Changz!! Biang!!**

see this video..



more powerful than any USA X Men Mutants or Chinese superhero!

Tell me how not to be scared!

Screw Media seriously.

Yes, i am nutz.: Never trust a designer.

Yes, i am nutz.: Never trust a designer..

some funny shit...hahah

Goodbye Singlehood, U were my best pal for 29 years.

Not sure if I should start a page on these or just blog it here. Cause there will be a lot of regrets…resentments…complains...KpkB-ing as we progress to the end of my Singlehood…

Most of the authentic women that I know, even those Ba Poks sexually challenged women



are very very kan chiong about their wedding. The list of preparations on their TO DO List seems endless but IMO… is repetitive tasks LOLX.

Why? Eg…

1)      Must have nice nails.

2)      Must have nice toe nails artwork

3)      Maintain good skin or constant regular facial to improve skin tone

4)      Maintain good skin or constant regular facial to improve skin complexion

5)      Maintain good skin or constant regular facial to improve skin texture

Item 3-4-5 already is Repetitive liao Lor!
above and below are real life accounts from some of my gfs…



6)      Lose weight…5kg

7)      Need to lose more weight.. maybe another 2 more kg to fit in the killer corset.

8)      Need to grow long hair for nice hairdos…(This one can control meh???)

9)      Selecting venue….

10)  Selecting food

11)  Selecting gown

12)  Must look good on that day!! (in my opinion, is a repeat of item 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8)

13)  And so on and on…..

For the guys , maybe is just one on their list and is notably the most important.

1) WHERE IS THE MONEY!  Find It!  LoLX



People always say, and even today Flying Dutchman commented.

“Man are nothing but just a Prop during wedding”

Sounded so wrong… My man is not a prop leh..

I do not want my man to be just the Prop. I want him to shine and also receive a lot of attention.

Who said wedding are just for women? Tsk tsk… I know men are equally as HIAO !

To name a few – Marvin, Martivinti, Allah is great…….

If die die have to be a prop. I must make my man to be world no 1 best prop.





Disclaimer! I’m not saying I don’t give 2 or 1 hoot about my looks and YES, I do agree that looking good is one of the “must” happened thing… after all who enjoys going to wedding dinners to see

?????????

The no1 unwanted man on earth will probably still want and insist to stay single if this was his bride…Lolx…. (God..forgive me…)

So where does that leave me if the above are not my top priorities?

Knowing myself… I want to have fun… (Cyndi Lauper – Girls just wanna have fun…oh girl just wanna have fun!)I want to have so much fun that I will regret or even hate myself for ruining this (very special) relationship with my man.  It’s not about how glam I am going to look that day or how EX the table is going to cost or to my friends (afterall they are the ones to give the angbaos! lolx) it’s about creating that special day between us that will deeply be imprinted in our memories. Even when we grow old and wither(or die)…I hope this special day will still amuse us for the youth and stupidity we used to have.

By the way, you guys have no idea how retard my bf can be at times, I am officially declaring I have met my worthy opponent!

So...

Do you think if a couple who were married for 10-20 years…give a shit on how fucking beautiful/handsome they was before and how LAVISHLY and Glamorously they held their wedding? Even  if per table was SGD10,000++?

Sorry to say, nope. They don’t give a shit. If money can buy u happiness, that was not true happiness.

To realize my own beliefs and wants, I’m planning some stuff that will require a lot of courage from myself and my husband to be.

No…  :P

I am not going to reveal any info yet… because…nothing is finalized yet.

But I know it’s the biggest challenge I am giving to my man to tie the knot with me.

(Trust me, he was pretty upset and agitated when I proposed my thoughts..)

After much persuasion and angry distorted looks from me,

He finally surrendered with his white undies...

Even if the things I wanna do are ISO International (www.sgbrides.com) standards (Who cares…) …he had proved something to me.

He will always stand by me.

What else can I still ask for?

So baby if you are reading this… Thank you for all the good things/times u brought into my life and shit you still for the times u made me so angry that I almost want to pee in your pillow just to get back at u.